


Careful, it's hot

by Raburabusama



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Cat Ears, Crack, Drug Use, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, mmmaybe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:26:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25645777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raburabusama/pseuds/Raburabusama
Summary: Kanda gets some unfortunate side effects after being drenched in Komui's experimental drugs, and Lavi decides to help him out.... and then gets a bit side tracked with cat nip <:D
Relationships: Kanda Yuu/Lavi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Careful, it's hot

**Author's Note:**

> This is like 10 years old, and I still kind of like it so I wanted to share it. I will probably never write for DGM again, I still like the manga but the days of madness like this are over xD This is also based on true events, more info in the end!

Well, he hadn’t expected this. Not the least. Lavi shifted his weight nervously from one leg to another. He wasn’t sure which unnerved him more, the deep rumble that resonated to his chest from across the room, or the long, pink tongue that was currently… licking… lavishly licking… He swallowed around a lump that had lodged itself into his throat.

Okay.

Maybe he should rewind a little, and explain this from the start.

  
***

“Yuu-chan!” Lavi cheerfully greeted his bestest buddy, who apparently had returned from his mission. While Kanda did flinch at the mention of his first name, Lavi didn’t get his usual share of death threats. Actually, the dark haired exorcist quickened his pace up the corridor not even looking back. Something was off. Kanda’s posture seemed wrong now that Lavi looked at it: his shoulders were hunched up and he seemed to be holding a black cloth over his head. Well, this was interesting.

“Hey wait up, Yuu!” Lavi yelled starting to jog after the retreating exorcist. Still no answer as Kanda disappeared behind a corner. Lavi’s bookmanly instincts were screaming that something was seriously amiss. Kanda never ever, ever ran from anyone.

Kanda seemed to have come to the same conclusion Lavi noted as he turned the corner. There was a minute tremble to his lithe frame, which Lavi suspected to be suppressed rage.

“Oi, Yuu” he started again voice softer and a wee bit more nervous. Bookman Jr. stopped well beyond Mugen’s immediate attack range.

“Don’t call me that.” Kanda’s voice was lower than usual and very threatening. It gave the impression he was on the verge, like really on the verge, not just normally aggravated, of lashing out at the nearest poor soul. And yes, he had a black cloth over his head, it had some weird lumps on it. Had Kanda been injured somehow?

“You hurt or something?” Lavi took a tiny step forward as Kanda turned sideways. His dark eyes finally met Lavi’s first steely with anger, then they flicked away to stare at the nearby wall. As if he was embarrassed.

“Che.” the brave Bookman Jr. crept closer still, as his buddy’s hands were yet to occupy the hilt of Mugen.

“Get the hell away from me.” the lumps under the cloth moved. Lavi was struck dumb. What the hell? Kanda seemed to notice the movement as well since he went completely rigid. Lavi took two lightning quick strides and before Kanda could decapitate him he had yanked the cloth from Kanda’s head.

Lavi stopped in the middle of his third stride and almost fell flat on his ass. He had to bite his lip pretty hard to keep the grin at bay. Because. _Because_ a pair of black, triangular ears were sprouting from the top of Kanda’s head. They were almost flat against his head, quite like the ears of a irked cat would be. Which they obviously were. The ears twitched again communicating the oceans deep annoyance of their owner.

“Yuu, what the…?” Lavi managed, still painfully suppressing his amusement, he quickly dodged a blow aimed for his face as Kanda snarled at him. After dodging a few more hits and letting one graze his shoulder Kanda seemed to have worked the worst of his fury out of his system, though a slight tint of agitated pink still adorned his cheeks. Lavi found that rather cute, but tried to not dwell on that too much.

“Komui,” Kanda finally grated out, after swallowing with a grimace he continued, “That useless fucking excuse of a supervisor. Made some sort of an… useless fucking potion” his voice died out and he gripped the hilt of Mugen so hard his knuckles turned white. His eyes also glazed in the way that made Lavi suspect he was having fantasies of running the poor supervisor through. Lavi noticed that Kanda’s ears also slowly rose upright as he was not focusing on his unfortunate state. Seriously this was the single most unhealthy thing Lavi had encountered in all his years in the Order. Kanda, who was ridiculously attractive even normally, adorned with those, those unbearably cute ears was just… Well, unhealthy. Lavi felt blood rushing to all sorts of unwanted places. Wonder if he had a tail too? An evil grin threatened to spread on his face. He had to find out so he voiced his concerns.

Soon the unfortunate state of Kanda was the hottest topic of gossip around the Order as he was seen chasing down a certain Idiot-Rabbit down the corridors Mugen gleaming in his hand, snarling curses and promises of a quick, if painful, death.

***

Later Lavi learned that Johnny had stumbled on the stairs while moving some of Komui’s past-time creations from his office. Kanda had just happened to be on his way to report from his mission and had gotten in the way of falling boxes. Many bottles and jars of variously coloured (not mention smelling) liquids had broken onto his poor person. And the fortune of Johnny was that one of them had also been a very potent anaesthetic, they had both been knocked unconscious as they fell. The catifying brew had hit only Kanda.

Johnny was still unconscious in the infirmary a day later. Kanda’s supernatural healing had had him up and running in a matter of hours, but the healing didn’t seem to affect his new set of ears, and tail. Lavi snickered. He heard about the tail from the nurses and the knowledge had sent him giggling madly on the floor. The object of his amusement being nowhere in sight, of course. The said object had taken into brooding in his room. Such a spoilsport he was. Lavi had tried to bug him into showing the tail, but had been sent flying quite quickly from Kanda’s door by a disgruntled cat-boy. How unfair could life be?

Komui was frantically searching for a cure for Kanda’s unfortunate state. The knowledge that he was most certainly the only one that could heal Kanda was the thing keeping him and Mugen from getting intimate.

Lavi let out a heartfelt sigh and leaned his chin on his hand. The other one was tapping an agitated rhythm on the writing desk he was currently occupying. He had this nagging feeling that he should try and make the absolute most of this situation. Since it wouldn’t, _couldn’t_ , last. A smack on the top of his head startled Lavi out of his pondering.

“Focus boy!” Bookman frowned at him looking very displeased. “You still have lot to read, no day-dreaming.” He turned around and returned to his spot, glancing at his apprentice sternly before focusing on his work once again. Grunting Lavi lifted the book he had been reading and tried to focus on it again. But, but Kanda. _With cat-ears!_ There had to be loads of recording to do there. And Lavi kind of fancied cats too. They were very Kanda-like. So okay, he kind of fancied Kanda too, with all his dark, sleek beauty, cutesy bad temper and cat-like grace. Speaking of cats (again)… Didn’t cats, like, really fancy catnip? All of Lavi’s muscles twitched with realization, or it felt like it at least. He remembered seeing cats gone all loving and crazy after being exposed to the seemingly innocent herb. Would it work on Kanda? Lavi’s heart was trying to hammer itself through his chest. He needed to find out. It wasn’t bad or anything, catnip wasn’t even illegal, right? It would perhaps even cheer the poor, brooding Yuu up. Yes, yes, nothing wrong with cheering a pal up, was there? Lavi smiled a little at his notes. Now that he thought about it, Jerry kept a supply of the very stuff. He occasionally gave it to the few toms that patrolled the Orders food storage keeping the mice and rats from the flour sacks and whatnot. He wouldn’t mind if Lavi loaned a few pinches of the stuff. Or the whole bag. Kanda was a whole lot bigger than a regular cat anyway. With zeal he focused on task at hand so he could get onto the ‘nipping of Kanda sooner…

***

Much later Lavi sauntered towards the cafeteria thinking some late dinner would be in order as he pondered tactics on getting catnip (in)to the even-cuter-than-usual-Kanda. He firmly agreed with Allen, no serious thinking should be done with an empty belly.

As he entered the mostly empty dining hall through the double doors Lavi spied Jerry instructing a nervous looking cook-girl in his mother-henly manner. The girl had a server on her hands and on it was a familiar looking bamboo tray. As Lavi got closer he heard Jerry telling the girl how Kanda also needed to eat even in his unfortunate state and how Jerry completely understood his reluctance to leave his room. So, the girl would have to go and take the food to him. The girl didn’t seem too keen on approaching the most notoriously ill-tempered of exorcists in his current state. Lavi perked up, he could at least spy on Yuu-chan’s current mood if he could get close to him with the excuse of bringing him dinner.

“Hey, Jerryy!” he greeted the cook cheerfully. “Lemme take that to Yuu-chan! You know how snappy he can be at best, now’s not a good time to approach 'im. ’s a good thing I’m so strong and sturdy so I can take it!” The girl brightened at Lavi’s proposal, and Jerry too smiled at Lavi’s helpfulness.

“Oh, would you, Lavi? That’d be so kind~” Jerry even went as far as to give Lavi a big, fat ham sandwich for his troubles, which Lavi quickly started to munch down before Kanda’s food would get stale. As he ate (and damn if Jerry’s sandwiches weren’t the best!) he considered on how exactly he would get Kanda and the 'nip into the same room. He could brew a tea out of the stuff, right? But he couldn’t really brew the tea now, that Jerry and everyone was here, it’d be too suspicious. And getting the gloomy exorcist out of his room wouldn’t be easy either. Kanda wasn’t one to kindly do as he was asked. But then again if he were, this wouldn’t be as much fun. He absently studied the tray of slimy soba: Jerry had even put on a few cute cookies on a tiny plate to cheer Kanda up, even if the bastard would hardly appreciate effort. Suddenly an idea struck Lavi. It was possible that Kanda wouldn’t even respond to the herb at all, so if Lavi were to take a little bit of the stuff with him now he could sneakily study if it had any effect on him. AND if it did, he could later return with a nice, innocent cup of tea to cheer his buddy up.

He went to the kitchen to return his plate and napkin like the polite gentleman he was. Jerry was finishing the evenings dishes with his aides, he smiled at Lavi’s kindness. The smile turned into a confused frown as Lavi kept on going towards the cupboards.

“I thought Yuu-chan might like some soy sauce with his soba,” Lavi laughed acting like the avatar of nonchalance but his heart rate started to speed up. It was silly, he felt like he was trying to rob Jerry of his family heritage right in front of him, if the state of his nervousness was any indicator “Ya'know he sometimes likes to add some~” With sleight of hand that would’ve made Allen proud he slipped some catnip to his palm as he rummaged for the bottle of soy sauce. Boy, was he grateful they happened to be in the same cabin.

Gathering his courage Lavi left towards Kanda’s quarters the server in hand. There was a mission to accomplish here, and Bookman Jr. would not be one to disappoint (himself).

***

With a deep breath -for gathering yet more courage- Lavi rapped his objective’s door. Silence followed. He knocked again, with a softer hey-I’m-not-here-to-hurt-Yuu-manner and cooed softly:

“Yuu, I brought you food,” Lavi felt the room temperature drop by many degrees as the door slid open just a fraction. Poor Yuu looked ready to pop a vessel in his brain with the amount of ire that was evident on his face.

“You.” he growled. Lavi could’ve sworn his voice was quite more growlier than usual. He still smiled brighter than the sun itself.

“Ya'know, no one is really eager to approach Yuu right now, with the way you chased me down the halls an’ all,” Kanda pinched the bridge of his nose, but still didn’t open the door more. No scarf over his head either Lavi noted happily. Still he couldn’t see the ears well from this angle.

“Shut up.”

“I brought ya some soba, Jerry made a special serving of tempura too. Your favourites.” Lavi smiled disarmingly and brandished his server just a bit, though he quickly drew it back as Kanda tried to grab the tray from his hands. Lavi pushed the door open all the way with his elbow and sneaked in. He set the server on Kanda’s empty writing desk, only after discarding his burden noticed that Kanda still hung on the door knob somewhat dazedly. His ears were pointed straight towards Lavi. And Kanda was wearing only his indecent tank top and trousers the ever-observant Bookman Jr. noted. Nothing particularly off there, if those trousers wouldn’t be hanging so low on Kanda’s hips to allow the long, black tail to hang freely. Lavi was enthralled as the tail twitched. Kanda’s withering glare pierced through Lavi dragging his attention back to the disgruntled exorcist’s face. He flashed a smile to the other boy.

“Get out.”

“And ya wanna return the tray to Jerry all by yourself” Lavi winked, “He said ya wouldn’t be allowed to hoard all the trays in your room even if you’ve gone all kitty cat on us.” Kanda’s expression turned from annoyed to murderous, yikes.

“Lenalee stalks the halls with a camera. She’s recruited Moyashi to her cause, too,” Kanda shuddered, and the adorable ears twitched too. They settled to pointing to opposite directions, very vexedly (if that even was a word, Lavi’s verbal skills were starting to abandon him). The tail was swishing slowly from side to side. Lavi suppressed a gleeful giggle. Instead he slid the chair from under the table inviting Kanda to sit and finally have his dinner.

“I’ll shut up. Promise.” The cat regarded him with suspicion in his eyes, but finally sighed and approached anyway. Lavi tried not to linger close to Kanda too obviously, but it was hard. Kanda probably couldn’t smell the substance in his pants pocket if he weren’t close. Annoyed growl was still enough to make him retreat to Kanda’s bed, which he gingerly sat on. Lavi tried not to dwell too much on that either. True, he had visited the ill-tempered exorcist’s room on several occasions and sometimes even occupied his bed (alone), but somehow this occasion seemed to dwarf all the other times. Lavi felt excitement tingle all over himself, and he really needed to go all bookmanly on himself to suppress yet another exclamation of excitement. Seriously all this emotion suppressing had to be unhealthy. He dug a very small book from his pocket and started skimming over the pages in an attempt to give Kanda the feeling of privacy.

Scowling the other sat down on his chair and started to eat his dinner without much enthusiasm. Not that he usually showed any enthusiasm towards eating. Or anything really. Except maybe violence. And Mugen.

Lavi let the slurping lull him into a pleasant coma as he tried not to stare too much. But he kind of spaced out anyway, as Kanda was focused on something that wasn’t glaring him into a pitiful pile of dead-Lavi. Kanda still didn’t seem too happy, but he was certainly less agitated as he was consuming his favourite dish. His ears were pointed slightly back, and Lavi tried really hard not to make a sound so that Kanda’s attention wouldn’t be focused on him at all. His tail had settled a few centimetres from the floor. Such a nice tail it was Lavi mused, though Kanda would probably like it to be touched even less than a regular cat.

“The fuck you’re staring at, Baka Usagi?”

Kanda’s voice woke Lavi from his daydreams. He was still sitting on his chair, still giving Lavi one of his usual glares, the kind that told he’d need to get the fuck out of Yuu-chan’s lair before he lost something vital. Lavi swiftly rose to his feet and carried by his momentum glided next Kanda before the kitty boy could get away from him. And sitting down he would get nice and close to his hips Lavi leered in the safety of his mind.

“Ne, Yuuu~ Would’cha like a nice cup of tea to go with the dinner?” Lavi smiled as he took the tray from the desk, deciding to try and speed things up a little. An audible sniff made Lavi pause, as a glaze took over Kanda’s beautiful features _. Shit, is it really working?_ The muscles on Kanda’s neck tensed as he aborted a movement that would’ve certainly brought his face closer to Lavi’s groin. Lavi took a small step backwards just to see what would happen, hoping that the effect wouldn’t dissipate on such close range. Kanda’s face followed Lavi’s movements even if his gaze was fixed on nothing at all. A frown adorned his face.

“Tea?” he asked somewhat meekly (for him at least). His eyes finally met Lavi’s the daze oh-so apparent. The redhead nodded enthusiastically.

“Yea, yea, nice green tea. Would calm your mind too, no doubt.” he swallowed.

“It’s so late not many people would be around either.” Luckily Kanda seemed to have forgotten all about the thing with the Lenalees and the cameras, too. Kanda growled at the coaxing tone of Lavi’s voice. Still, there was something so very intriguing about the thought of tea, or was it just the eerie feeling of liking the vicinity of the idiot rabbit. Kanda shook his head at that though, impossible and fucking retarded. Tea might still be in order and after that he could have a spar with that irritating Bookman Jr. and by beating the crap out of him vent some of the frustration out of his system. That thought made him smile just a little in the corner of his mouth.

Without further ado he rose to his feet, making Lavi take a nervous step backwards. He felt like baring his teeth at that, but managed to control his catty feelings.

He allowed Lavi to lead the way glaring bloody death on anyone how happened to be unlucky enough to cross their paths. Luckily there weren’t many. Too many people had already bore witness to his disgraceful state.

***

The kitchens were empty, Jerry and his crew of magnificent chefs had retired for the day already. But they still left the place unlocked if someone (namely Allen) needed a midnight snack. Lavi lead Kanda through the quiet cafeteria to the kitchens like he owned the place. Well, he did know the place like the back of his hand, but that was mostly thanks to his awesome memory and the few(ish) shifts he had had the opportunity of working there. Kanda had fallen into an unsurprising silence but was following him like led by an invisible cord which made Lavi all fuzzy inside. Due to his own nervousness Lavi was uncharacteristically quiet too, but Kanda didn’t seem to mind it at all.

Lavi ushered Kanda into a bar stool and started scouring through Jerry’s cabins. He was discreet with the catnip in case Kanda was being his usual sharp shelf, but all symptoms of foul play went unnoticed by the still dazed cat boy. He had this wonderful expression of being lost on his prettyful face, and he seemed to be fighting the urge to burp or something with the way he was labouredly swallowing every now and then (hairballs? Lavi annihilated a snicker once again). And trying hard not to rub his face with his hands too it would seem. Certainly the 'nip was having an effect on the poor kitty.

The red-haired exorcist set water to boil on the neat electricity powered hotplate-system (a nifty invention of their science team) and started measuring the herb into a round-bellied teapot. More is better he decided, adding four full tablespoons of the dried leaves to the pot, screw the taste. Excitement fluttered in his belly once again and he didn’t dare to sneak a glance toward his silent prey.

“Ne, I think Komui’ll come up with an antidote soon enough,” he spoke with a low, soothing tone.

“Che. He’d better.” Kanda’s tone signaled that he was running out of patience, with Komui and with Lavi. Luckily the water was close enough to boil for Lavi’s brew. He didn’t want to ruin all the important flavourings and biochemicals with searing the leaves with too hot water. Letting the tea brew in peace for a while he searched for two mugs and set them neatly side by side on the table. He tried not to smile about those two mugs, standing there side by side… Oh who was getting doped now? Lavi gave himself a hearty, mental slap across the face. A minty smell drifted from the pot and Lavi deemed the potion to be ready. He poured the two mugs full and turned to deliver Kanda his share only to almost collide with Kanda’s chest. Kanda’s ears were fixed on Lavi and his tail was swishing quite excitedly. Kanda grabbed a mug from Lavis hand bringing it to his face. He inhaled the scent, his eyes drifting shut at the smell. Lavi swallowed thickly as the took in the single most sensual expression he had ever seen on the sulky samurai’s face.

Kanda sampled the brew carefully only to find it too damn hot to swallow all at once. Lavi admired the crease of annoyance that appeared between Kanda’s perfectly shaped, graceful eyebrows, and the pink tip of a tongue that flicked over the said samurai’s lips.

“Careful now, it’s still pretty hot,” Lavi drawled basking in the warmth of Kanda’s vicinity. Kanda eyed him with contempt but quickly returned his attention to the brew. _Oh shit, his pupils are starting to dilate!_ Lavi was thrilled to notice and sipped his tea. Kanda swirled the mug in his hand blowing a long huff of air through his nose. Then as if he’d reached the end of his line (which he probably had) he brought the mug to his lips and drained the whole mug in one long swig. Afterwards he grimaced with the hotness burning his insides and attempted to abandon the mug to the counter. He wasn’t paying too much attention with his surroundings though and his hand collided with Lavi’s. Lavi lost his grip on the hot mug and the contents of it spilled all over the table and the stove.

“Aw, shit Yuu! I’m sorry let me get a towel.” Lavi started not caring at all that the fault wasn’t his the least. He turned to locate something to dry the table with completely missing the change that was overcoming his friend.

Kanda brought a hand to his mouth trying to fight the roll of chaos that his chest had become, something was trying to rumble out. Not to mention that he had never felt this good in his life. It was all very distressing, but Kanda was quickly losing his grasp on what exactly he was trying to be distressed about. All he could understand was that he felt fucking wonderful and there was a beautiful smell of yet more wonderful coming from somewhere very close.

Lavi stopped dead on his tracks as he heard the deep, soul deep, resonance of a purr. Wide eyed he turned to witness this phenomenon. The sound was loud and made Lavi’s bones vibrate in its rhythm. It was a very pleasant feeling he could certainly say. He saw Kanda rocking on his feet, face set in a determined scrunch, eyes shut, he was desperately holding for the last shreds of reason. But the purr was clear evidence that he had already lost. This all was working like a dream Lavi exclaimed in his mind. He took a careful step toward the doped exorcist.

Kanda cracked his eyes open and studied the view before him. There was a thin film of a greenish liquid present before him on a flat surface. And it screamed to be devoured. He bowed down to taste that fragrant substance.

Lavi’s next step was aborted halfway through as he witnessed his favourite male friend bending over the still warm stove. He opened that beautiful mouth of his and from that beautiful mouth descended Kanda’s tongue. Lavi felt his throat constrict painfully as that tongue gave the stove a long, heartfelt lick. Kanda’s purr increased in volume as he continued the motion eyes closing. He was clearly enjoying himself very thoroughly, and Lavi was getting himself very uncomfortable very quickly, for various reasons.

The first was that his conscience finally kicked in, showing him what a horrible thing indeed he had bestowed upon his best friend, and the second and maybe a bit more overwhelming reason was the sheer magnitude of his arousal about this whole scene. Wait, did he really use the word arousal? Shit what he meant was… He was yet again distracted by the lavish sweep of tongue on the black iron of the stove. And the soft scraping sound that it made, ohhh~ His knees were going all wobbly on him. Boy, Kanda was really enjoying himself over there. Lavi forgot everything else in favour of feeling left out.

“Yuuuu-chaaan, whatcha doing?” he tried his best to sound absolutely innocent. He placed a tentative hand on Kanda’s head carding his fingers through those blacker than black strands. Kanda’s purr got mixed with a growl and the ears that had been perked happily up went flat on his head.

“Fuckinghh….bastard,” he fought for breath between words and choking purrs “What did…. you do… to me?” Kanda forced his hands on the table to obey and heaved himself away from the surface with great effort. The texture just felt so obscenely wonderful against his tongue, he licked his lips despairing for any contact against that over-sensitive muscle.

“Yuu… I” Lavi stopped as Kanda’s gaze fixed onto him. Kanda’s pupils were dilated way beyond normal, far beyond. Like two black wells of infinite void that were sucking Lavi’s soul into their depths and all that kind of epic shit. Also, there was a fair amount of red adorning his cheeks, Lavi bit his lip until it hurt enough.

“I don’t know what happened!” he quickly lied when he got his breath back, Kanda’s hands were fisting the fabric of his shirt and all the while that bone deep purr vibrated through the air. It was all too much.

“You smell good.” Kanda stated startling them both with his words. After that exclamation it became impossible to keep himself apart from Lavi’s nice smelling clothes. Or person. Damn if he cared.

“Wait YUUU!” Lavi screamed like a girl, “I haven’t even bathed today!” but it was too late, Kanda smashed his face into Lavi’s shirt/chest the primal urge to rub his face into everything that was deemed nice too much for even him to bear. Lavi tried to retreat but got tangled in his own boots and ungracefully fell flat on his butt taking Kanda with him. Kanda’s fall was cushioned by Bookman Jr. so he hardly even noticed.

Lavi did though, the agony on his backside almost distracting from the fact that Kanda was currently rubbing his face into Lavi’s shirt violently. All the while the rumble of Kanda’s purr vibrating through his prostate form. He tried to pry the other boy away in vain, his hands only settled on Kanda’s shoulders in a feeble attempt to push him away. Flesh was so weak, Lavi started to hate himself a little.

“I hate…. you…” Kanda growled into his shirt still grinding his face and upper body against him like his life depended on it. Lavi lifted his hand to stroke Kanda’s head as he sighed miserably.

“Yea, I know how you feel” and after a moment of silence, “Let’s just work this out of your system, ne?”

Really, he was such a bastard for doing this to his beautiful, proud Yuu. _Should’ve thought about that before, eh?_ Lavi berated himself.

Feelings of self-loathing were short lived as more pressing matters took the stage of Lavi’s jumbled mind. Like the fact that the only thing Lavi could smell was Kanda. Sure, he had been close the the other exorcist on various occasions, hell he had even carried his unconscious body to safety after some battles gone awry. But then his main focus had been on surviving and Kanda had mostly smelled of blood and smoke and akuma. But now, it was him, only him (and a whiff of cat, which suited him well to be honest).

Lavi sighed deep and started brushing Kanda’s hair in long sweeps hoping it would somehow help his friend’s distress. He also tried the superhuman feat of mind over blood flow, praying to all forces willing to listen that Kanda wouldn’t notice. Bending his knees Lavi tried with all his might to lift the kitty currently head-butting his chest from his hips. Then Kanda decided to add teeth into the mess.

“C-ch-Christ Yuu!” Lavi yelped wriggling feebly.

“I should… fuckinghhh bite your jugularrrrr open.” Kanda growled against Lavi’s solar plexus between bruising bites that were nowhere near tender or playful.

“Would serve… you right.” Desperate, Lavi pulled Kanda from the hair, the biting hurt him enough to allow some sense into his thick skull.

“I said I’m sorry!” he whined finally prying Kanda’s face off off him (the hands continued to knead his flesh in a highly unsettling manner) and for a second Lavi thought things might yet be solvable. Then his gaze met Kanda’s smouldering, dilated black gaze that was framed by the glory of his rumpled bangs. It was breath-taking. Whatever Lavi had been intending to say died on his lips as he drank the sight of the boy draped all over him. The red tint on his high cheekbones, the swell of his otherwise thin lips and the saliva that glistened there… Toppled with the ceaseless vibration echoing from one body to the other poor, poor Bookman Junior was running out of reason, not that he had had much of that to begin with. His hands were cupping Kanda’s skull on their own accord and gently coaxing him closer towards the damnation of their fragile friendship tempered in the fires of Lavi’s unyielding pestering. Yet those black turned eyes irresistibly beckoned him closer. Nervously Bookman Jr. wetted his own lips. But as suddenly as that electrifying connection had strung between them, or just in Lavi’s imagination he feared, it was over. Making good of his threat Kanda dived for Lavi’s throat and sank his teeth deep.

There would probably be world ending bruises on his throat but Lavi would worry about those later. His sanity dissolved and the cries of anguish warped into more encouraging sounds as Lavi’s hands stopped trying to stop Kanda’s assault in favour of encouraging him upwards. He needed to help his pal to work the 'nip out of his body after all. He was really starting to enjoy himself, maybe a bit too much, when the loud metallic clatter of something big and hollow hitting the floor shocked him half way to afterlife.

“Ack!”

“God, what the– Kanda?!” Allen’s familiar and unfortunately very unwelcome voice started to get shrill with shock, “ _LAVI!?_ Get a room, you two!” the white-haired exorcist quickly turned around to save what little was left of his burning retinas. So much for a nice, solitary night snack.

Kanda’s body stiffened for a millisecond and before Lavi’s scattered brain could register he had bolted onto his feet and was crouching between him and Allen. Lavi was dumbfounded. Kanda snarled, ears laid flat against his skull, tail swishing madly, as his gaze flitted between the two other exorcists in agitation. His hair was a tangled mess and all the while he couldn’t contain his purr. The confusion and fright on his face made Lavi’s chest constrict painfully. 

“I mean this is a public place, couldn’t you two–” Allen turned around to face the threat of violence, his tone scolding.

“Shut the fuck up!” Kanda yelled painfully torn between pouncing and killing Allen for witnessing all this and the horror of his vicinity maybe having the same effect on him as Lavi’s. Allen opened his mouth to speak again and Kanda reacted by pushing him violently (and from as far as he could manage) out of his way and vanishing through the kitchen’s double doors.

A pregnant silence reigned in the kitchen for a good while. Lavi was still a mess on the floor and Allen stood surrounded by the scattered remains of a huge jar of chocolate chip cookies glancing between the doors and Lavi. Painfully Bookman Jr. swallowed again trying to get his lungs, brain and other organs back on track. He managed to manoeuvre himself into a sitting position the dizzy spell finally subsiding enough for him to speak.

“This…” he cleared his throat when his voice cracked, “This is not what it seems.” He tried to get his best move-along-nothing-to-see-here voice going on but failed quite royally. Allen cocked an eyebrow at him, tilting his head to the side and giving him a once-over.

“Oh, really now? Then I’d suggest you snap your bloody knees together and spare me from the view.”

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, my friend has two cats and whenever he gives them catnip, they start licking tables and stoves. And they do it quite heartfeltly. I got my deranged inspiration from there.  
>  Thank you for making it this far! And thank you for each kudos and comment <3 They mean the world to me!


End file.
